25 Jan 2011
The 2008 election was decided by reasons kept behind closed doors. Not because there was a grand conspiracy, but because nobody wanted to admit it. Face it, did anybody REALLY vote for John McCain? Or were 45% of Americans just so swept up in the new Palin fervor that they went with McCain hoping something would happen to him to make him cede his position to make Sarah Palin the President? Two years later, this now seems stupid and absurd as John McCain is still up and kicking, but hey, 2008 was the year of hope.
Now with 2012 around the corner, it’s time to start examining our political candidates. By the time 2012 rolls around, we’ll certainly have a good idea of what kind of President Obama will be since a good amount of his new policies should have at least some consequences, and he’ll have already had 4 years under his belt. Rudy Giuliani is pretty predictable as to what kind of President he would be, as is Mitt Romney. In fact, pick almost any potential Republican Presidential choice, and you’ll pretty much know what type of person you’re getting. Except for one…
As The Onion points out in a recent video, the Palin mythos has grown as such that we really don’t know what exactly she’d do as President, but the potential craziness almost makes us morbidly curious enough to vote her in. Would she declare war on the Pacific Ocean as MoveOn.org has suggested? Would she require every person in the country to own a gun, and bring about the extinction of any animal you can hunt? Change the drinking age to 14? The voting age to 8 to ensure a 2nd term? Would she accidentally drop a racial slur, causing Russia to get mad, effectively bringing back the good old days of the Cold War? The possibilities are endless, and they’re all seemingly possible. It’d be like Jersey Shore: The White House. An international reality TV show where the stakes could always end in nuclear war.
I think what The Onion reports Mitch McConnell as saying as summing up my feelings about a Palin White House best.
“Having Palin in office would be like a four-year long whitewater rafting trip. It might kill us, but we’d all end up with a bunch of crazy-ass photos.”
Tags: 2008 election, 2012 Election, cold war, comedy, drinking age, gun control, john mccain, mccain, mitt romney, nuclear war, onion, pacific ocean, republicans, sarah palin, tea party, the onion, voting, voting age